Dear Brothers:
Per your request at our last gathering, I am submitting this report on my charge in the Dallas area, one Matthew Consprite, the young pastor who has been marked as an Eye of Thoth.
Since we last discussed his status, a number of events have occurred, including his full acceptance by the Archangel. He is struggling to leverage his new abilities – a fact I find to be in his favor, given the signs and markers that we generally look for as points of concern in one such as he. He is well-grounded in his Christian faith (Lutheran roots aside), and I do not believe that he poses a danger to any of our orders. Unlike his predecessor in the Metroplex, Matthew has gone to great lengths to foster relationships in the communities that he serves – to include the supernatural community (the self-titled “Freakshow Confederacy”). Despite the wide philosophical differences between mainstream Christianity and the various sub-cultures and traditions of the Confederacy, Matthew has striven to understand and accept those differences, even as he holds to his own faith.
My only potential concern for him is a recent romantic relationship that he has entered into.
To say the last six weeks have been amazing would be a gross understatement. I wonder how long the signs have been there that Barbara was interested in me, romantically. Surely not while I was the proverbial babe in the supernatural wilderness with her as my teacher… no, the abruptness with which she cut me lose after my graduation – deeming me trained enough so as not to hurt myself – that was a transactional relationship, if one that provided the seed for our current status.
My reconnection with the supernatural community provided us a chance to grow as friends, colleagues in supernatural matters. I suppose I’ve been so absorbed in my work that I missed any subtle signal she’d sent my way – but I’m paying better attention now! Intimate relationships have never been a priority for me… and, man, have I been missing out…
My local contact with the Venatori provided me with some background information on the woman. She is of mixed South American descent, and her abilities are from a bruja tradition, specifically a European style that has distinct Catholic influences. Her immigration to the United States, while primarily for financial reasons, has also served to allow her to explore her powers and traditions on her own terms. This background is one of the reasons that she was the person that my contact directed Matthew to for training in his own supernatural abilities.
I do not believe that she poses a threat to Matthew’s faith at this time. She is certainly neither venefica nor maleficarum, but I am certain you are all aware of how closely I will monitor this situation – rest assured. In my opinion, Matthew has the potential to be one of the most powerful of the supernatural faithful not only of his generation, but that our orders have seen in many generations (Knights of the Cross notwithstanding). However, should his current belief structure be undermined in any way, he could not only lose this potential, but in the worst case; he could be turned against us at a critical moment, a course of action I will not allow to happen again.
After some of our dates, I’ve been tempted to curse my calling for keeping me from indulging my baser human desires. Barbara is beautiful gorgeous hot (being honest). I can tell (even I’m not that clueless) that she wants to push our relationship farther, physically. I don’t want to beat her over the head with my religion, but it’s gotten to a point that I need her to understand and respect my beliefs, much as I try to understand and respect others’ – including hers.
Christian religion is a dicey topic amongst the supernatural set – they still hold the Inquisition against all of us (not just the Catholics), and to a certain extent, rightly so. Supernatural powers are still widely viewed by the church at large as devil-stuff, and “suffer not a witch to live” is still way too close to the surface – I mean, look at all the rancor that some Christians raise about homosexuality. Imagine how they’d react to honest-to-goodness magic?
But I’m off topic – I need to broach the subject with Barbara, but I’ve also got to be careful about how I do it.
If there is one thing that Matthew struggles with more than anything else, it’s pride. His unwillingness to ask for and his hesitance to seek out help may end up being his undoing one day. It took a chance meeting with me to begin to show him that folly, and although he has struggled, he’s taken that lesson to heart.
This is one of the bright spots that I see in this relationship for him. The young woman has seen some success in business since her arrival in the United States. Her small business caters to the supernatural community, but she is also a savvy real estate investor, and she wants for little, monetarily – a far cry from the situation of our unemployed street preacher. Matthew has accepted the generosity of the Venatori and my parish’s food pantry, but accepting the generosity of a woman he loves, and deeply wants to take care of – that will shake his human masculinity to a degree that I imagine few of us could handle, brothers. If this relationship is to succeed and flourish, he must swallow that pride of his fully, and accept that others caring for his earthly needs may just be God’s plan for him.
Kept Man. Boy Toy.
These phrases keep surfacing in my mind when I ponder our financial relationship. I know they aren’t accurate – my existence isn’t centered around being at Barbara’s beckon call, physically or otherwise. I suppose my weak flesh can’t help but wonder if others have that opinion of me – and at less weak moments, I wonder why I care.
Honestly, the only major change in my work over the last six weeks has been that I’m in a car more often. I’m still on my feet, walking the streets in various places. I still take DART as I need to. But, if Barbara isn’t busy and it works out with our schedules, she’s willing to take me where I need to be. I know in my heart that it’s not pity – she does it because she cares, and because she can. And frankly, I’ve enjoyed it. It’s given us additional time together to get to know each other.
The same goes for meals. We’ve had dinner dates where we’ve eaten in, either at my place or hers – I’m not a bad cook, and neither is she. Sometimes our schedules are such that we can (or need) to eat out, and more often than not, she pays. Again, it’s not pity – heck, it’s reality – especially when it’s her turn to pick where we eat. That’s a culinary education… but off topic again.
Am I uncomfortable with the arrangement? Of course… society (and religion, to be honest) drives the image/stereotype of the male provider. The man is supposed to be the provider, the breadwinner, the head of household. Situations where this isn’t the case are becoming more common, but it’s still outside the norm, and carries some of the perceptual stigma of the “kept man.”
The Reverend is probably laughing about what this situation is doing to my pride – my particular sin of commission, and one I struggle with daily. The faithful part of me is willing to accept this as a good thing – another way that God has placed someone in my path that can help with my earthly needs as I do His work. But the all-too-human part of me is cautious that I don’t get too comfortable with the arrangement, should it end for whatever reason. (And I’m not saying anything about the relationship, but what if Barbara’s business dries up?)
When it comes down to it, these are just worries and anxiety – things that I should release to the care of the One who knows infinitely more than I do. Knowing that, however, doesn’t make it any easier to accomplish. So I pray for the strength and wisdom to graciously accept the bounties that God places in my path.
In conclusion, brothers, I do not feel that any further intervention is needed in the development of Pastor Consprite at this time. His current path is one that, for lack of a better term, feels right. His faith is mature (yet growing), his powers developing (but not out of hand), and he is connected to the greater community that he serves in a variety of manners. His current relationship, while bearing continued scrutiny, is also something that serves the greater good at this point.
Should any of you wish to meet him, I encourage you to visit – St. Patrick’s would be happy to host you for such an occasion.
Yours in Christ,
Reverend Father Joseph Kohler
St. Patrick’s of Dallas
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