“Game” notes between my two roommates, Midori and Claret, recorded for posterity, hilarity, and potential future blackmail.
“Points” awarded for each ‘one-up’ performed, as witnessed by myself or Hobbes
“Game rounds” designated as definitive sparring ‘exchanges’, marked by period of ‘no conversing’ time. Silently ignoring the other and ‘jibs and jabs’ do not count. Too many to list, and it would throw off my scoring. “Matches” designated as one 24 period between sunrise to sunrise, for Clarity. Both parties unaware of scoring and “game” as listed.
Current score: Midori-0, Claret-0
- Round 1: Initial meeting between contestants. Claret insults Midori’s clothing as ‘trendy’. Midori ripostes, taking insult as a compliment, downplays trendy as thrifty and extrapolates the benefits of appearing attractive without gaudiness or ‘dramatic’ attire.
- Point to Midori
- Round 2: Unpacking. Claret and Midori ‘discuss’ who should get which room, specifically the Master Bedroom. Midori argues about necessary closet space. Claret counters with personal possession space. Midori parries with certain potentially illegal scientific and arcane equipment being counted, citing more appropriate storage options in less flammable environs. Claret lunges with my (Erica’s) use of similar potentially illegal scientific and arcane equipment, citing that aforementioned storage options could replace a third roommate. Midori backpedals with citations of primary lease holder and Master Bedroom congruence, while Claret presses and re-lunges stating (for the record) respective wealth levels, prominence in scientific and arcane equipment in attaining said wealth levels (fully legal status notwithstanding) and Midori’s prevalence for ‘living somewhere nice’ and subsequent wealth level requirement.
- Point to Claret. Claret gains Master Bedroom.
- Round 3: 1st Meal. Claret and Midori both order takeout separately, pizza and Japanese respectively, ordering enough for all four (including Hobbes, who loves shrimp in ANY form) as a symbol of wealth=security=”Neener Neener”. Claret and Midori sullenly eat their own food, commenting on gross-ness of the other’s food. Both participants attempted to sway judges opinions by offering respective foods. Claret had difficulty with this maneuver, practically yelling for the judges to “F***ing eat it” while Midori assumed Geisha-mode and served as awesomely as humanly possible.
- Primary judge achieved food-coma status after one hour of eating, no points awarded.
- Secondary judge (Hobbes) delighted by attention and seafood, awards both 10,000 points.
- Secondary judge forbidden to award points without Primary judges approval, Secondary Judge re-awards both participants 1 point each.
Current Score: Midori-2, Claret-2
- Round 1: First Morning. Claret opens with loud music (NIN/ White Zombie/ Metallica, in succession) blaring from personal speakers in own room. Midori attempts to counter with louder music (BoA/ Hikaru Utada/ Halcali, in succession). Downstairs neighbor calls the landlord.
- No Points awarded.
- Round 2: Organization of public spaces, Design Meeting. Claret attempts to exit hastily, citing “Starbucks’s run”. Midori counters with Claret’s current status as ‘wanted’ by both criminals and law enforcement. Claret postulates ineptitude of said parties. Midori ripostes into “But Elena isn’t”. Claret stays.
- Point to Midori.
- Round 3: Arrangement of Furniture in Living Room. Claret and Midori clash over both individual’s desire to not become overly sweaty and/or lift heavy objects. Midori asks for work-related potions, Claret counters with inefficiency of said potions for current task as well as income potential of said potions. Claret takes to the offensive (big surprise) observing Midori’s increased athleticism over Claret’s own. Midori parries with said athleticism being stamina based rather than strength based, and in no way related to furniture moving. Primary Judge makes occasional bargaining attempt to appease both parties, citing personal strength developed from Yoga, as well as Secondary judges innate strength. Secondary judge exits in protest. Both Participants decline offer of help from Primary judge on medical and ethical grounds.
- Point awarded to Claret, for actually having ethical grounds. Otherwise match ends in stalemate, Living Room still a mess.
- Round 4: Arrangement of Kitchen. Midori previous acceptance of Judge’s postulate of “no iron” noted, and presents all copper/brass cookware where applicable. Midori cites funds expended and requests kitchen to be “her space”, offering Claret her own reciprocal space elsewhere in the apartment. Claret accepts, claims Dining room. Midori posits the Kitchen/Dining room reciprocal relationship and its potential negative influence on future guests. Claret holds ground, reiterates classic “promise” and “given Word” premises common amongst ‘us’ magic types. Midori acquiesces.
- Point awarded to Claret. Kitchen in progress.
- Round 5: Arrangement of Dining Room. Claret opens with all black/all leather/vampire-esque motifs. Midori argues for more neutral appearance to increase enjoyment by other participants. Claret reasserts previous rounds ‘promise’ premise. Midori defends with stated promise of upholding previously made deal, but suggests a medieval castle-look over Dracula’s tomb-look. Midori simultaneously hands Claret a homemade mocha chino and Chocolate croissant. Claret acquiesces.
- Point awarded to Midori. Medieval dining room in progress, with occasional ‘suggestions’ given over coffee and croissants by Midori.
Current Score: Midori-4, Claret-4
- Round 1: First Breakfast. Midori cooked breakfast for everyone. Claret complains of lack of sugary cereal in pantry. Midori counters with abundance of ‘Fruit Loops’ in said pantry as Claret stood within. Claret goes on the offensive (again), calling out Midori’s previous statement as possibly insulting. Midori meets Claret at door of pantry with homemade espresso and apple tart. Claret acquiesces, but cites future potential for continuation of prior conversation.
- Point to Midori
- Round 2: Further Unpacking. Claret removes clothing down to Gothic ‘Hello Kitty’ underroos and black sports bra in veiled attempt to make Midori uncomfortable. (Secondary judge descriptions of ‘visuals’ listed for posterity.) Midori cites attractiveness of Claret in current clothing in a completely complimentary fashion without being sexual or attaching lesbian overtones. Claret removes sports bra, citing ‘pinching’, in further veiled attempt to make Midori uncomfortable. Midori compliments Claret further on ‘personal empowerment’ and ‘not adhering to needless society taboos’. Midori mentions her own desire to follow in Claret’s adventurous footsteps and proceeds to remove own clothing down to standard Hello Kitty underwear. Claret gasps, turns red, and goes back into her own room.
- Point to Midori
- Round 3: 5 minutes later. Claret returns in a black bathrobe, citing cold. Midori agrees, retrieves her own bathrobe from the bathroom. Claret exits and returns with black kimono depicting skulls and crossbones. Midori comments on attractiveness of Claret’s kimono, citing her own penchant for such items and desire to ‘shop’ with Claret for such. Claret mumbles a weak affirmative, but swears under her breath in French. Neither judge knows French. Midori responds in a friendly and casual fashion, also in French. Claret swear in English and retreats into her coffee.
- Point to Midori
Other listings to follow as remembered and/or encountered. Midori currently leads by several dozen points, exploiting Claret’s weakness for high-quality coffee, overly sweet pastries, and sincere compliments. Most encounters are amiable now, both being polite and congenial at the least, and even occasionally having friendly conversations about video games,
celebrity attractiveness, Magical Lore,
and complaining about certain judges in French. Judges are fine with that, as living with a sociopathic sentient cat and a blind girl each have their respective issues and challenges, which is to be expected. Judges are just happy everyone gets along now and is relatively appropriately clothed 80% of the time. Both however have mentioned ‘replaying’ that previous argument when Conor is over for jam sessions, which WILL encure the wrath of the judges
and result in docking of points. In an imaginary game that neither of them know they are playing in. Well S***